You know, I like to think there’s a bit of mother in us all. Recently as I sat in the hairdressers, two young boys aged perhaps four and two were brought in for a haircut. For the next good while, an entire salon was drawn into the unfolding drama of an uncooperative child. Although I heard his name mentioned quite …
When life’s tough, do you know your choices?
Have you noticed how quickly negative feelings and bad experiences darken your world and seem to limit your choices? You’re having a quiet cup of coffee (it is the holidays!) when your kids start World War 3, and by the time it’s sorted your relaxed mood’s gone. Or you’re basking in the afterglow of Christmas goodwill when the credit card …
Why you’re always right
Did you know there’s a reason you think you’re always right? Actually, there’s a couple of them, which we’ll get to in a moment. But there’s also risks inherent in our tendencies to self-bias, which we’ll explore further too. Although we live in a culture where self-bias is encouraged (It’s all about me, isn’t it?!), people have always been egocentric. …
Nobody likes me, everybody hates me…
Do you know the next line to that old song? “Think I’ll go and eat worms…” Ugh! Until it’s the latest trend in gourmet cooking circles, swallowing the common garden variety has zero appeal to me. In the same way that miserable people have little appeal to anyone! I recalled the ditty after witnessing a teary little girl meltdown. You …
How to hit your positivity ratio
You may not know about the positivity ratio, let alone how to reach it, but you can be sure it’s affecting you anyway! Today I want to show you some ways to hit your positivity ratio in your own world -after I quickly explain what it is! What is the Positivity Ratio? It’s a concept researched, disputed and then re-proven, …
Dangerous comfort zones
(And how to avoid them) Comfort zones. The places we relax and feel safe. Where life’s easy. Where it’s not necessary to think or work too hard…and where everything happens by habit. They’re the psychological equivalent of your mind’s favourite old couch – the place where you curl up and retire to when life’s just a bit too challenging. Comfort …
Are you standing for something?
Or are you falling for anything? Thinking’s out of favour these days. Popular opinion’s that it makes one boring. “Just live for experience,” whispers our culture seductively in invitation. “Let life happen, and grab every moment. Why burden yourself with things that don’t matter?” Unfortunately, anybody who gets somewhere in life can’t do so without a larger perspective. Living without consideration …
You and your brain
Most of us don’t think about our brains much beyond school. I get it. School having overlays of ‘less than happy’ experiences for many, we readily leave unpleasant learning associations behind. We get on with our lives, giving attention only to the things which attract our attention. It’s good for us to look up and round beyond our self-chosen thinking …
How to help someone debrief
Do you know how to help someone debrief well? Last season the netball team I coached had an extremely unpleasant game. Despite winning – or perhaps because of it – the girls were subjected to physical, mental and verbal intimidation as they competed. The opposition spectators, as well as the team itself, heckled and insulted both players and umpires. Welcome …
7 ways to brighten your day
I consider myself pretty even keeled and happy as a person. Most of the time I’m appreciative of the good value folks around me, and my life’s decent. I walk in my neighbourhood feeling safe, and when I get home – well, it’s a great place to be. I also enjoy my work and mostly feel as though I’m moving …
Are you guarding your heart?
A friend introduced me the concept of guarding your heart last year. She’d landed a new position, and over coffee she told me her husband had warned her he’d be checking in regularly. To see if she was guarding her heart!! It caught my attention, being so unusual. After all, she’d just got something she really wanted: a great job. …
Why soft skills have solid implications
Just this morning I was chatting with a friend. We were discussing some stresses in her workplace brought on by her colleagues. One was a micro-manager. Another was always looking at things from a negative angle. Whilst we brainstormed some ways she could handle this, I thought how both our own and other people’s soft skills have a big impact …
How to help your kids ace school
The extra traffic gridlock’s probably reminded you – even if you don’t have your own children – that school’s underway for the year again. And whilst some parents celebrate and many kids weep, relatively few of us are thinking about how to help our kids ace school as we sit in the car, crawling through the drop off zone. That’s …
5 ways to improve your relationships
It’s Valentine’s Day next week. The marketing machine’s hyped up, telling you to spend big in order to impress the one you love. What if I told you it wasn’t necessary? There are other options? Not that I’m anti red roses and chocolates, but I thought we could consider five ways to improve your relationships (I guess that’s the idea …
Have you learnt from your life?
January’s over and the lazy holiday season’s quickly fading from our corporate memory. For those of us with kids, school’s just gone back… Yay! They’re more out of our hair now they’ve begun their learning work for the year. We’ve sent them off to soak up more knowledge, in order for them to be better prepared for life. What about …